actually..
not I wanna keep thinking..
if one of your family suddenly gone forever...
u sure will not biasa de..
cos they used

• to be around you..
• talk with you..
• hear from them..
• see their faces..

now you cant see them forever..
this is not the same as they had travelled to other countries or we stay far apart from them..
the feeling really not the same..


haizzzzzzzz....

Chinese New Year of year 2009....
------------>>>> the most sad and unforgetable chinese new year in my entire life...

• my dad passed away 2 days before chinese new year 2009..
• the 3rd day of CNY only brought some new clothes for work..
• just stay at home the whole CNY..

my memories ----->>>> SAD

since this year 2009,
I had faced many things that unexpected in my life..
I not really can faced them..
I really hate to be alone nowadays..
ESPECIALLY on the way I going to kl & coming back to sban..
cos I will starts thinking everything and everything bout my father..
This make me cry within a second..
I really hate myself being so weak..
I used to cried in front of my mom..
but..
now this wont happen again..
although when my father just passed away..
I din cry in front of her..
cos I don wan to make her more sad..
even I had failed my maths..
I just cried a few minutes & I stopped..
I know she very sad about my results..
She tried to comfort me don be too sad back..
I told myself that I will not cry in front of her anymore no matter wat happen in the future!!!

yesterday I suddenly know something tat I don even know about until today..
is about different kinds of people around me..

1. cheap bitch --->> those BITCH who stared at me during school time without any reason!!! & I started to understand why she keep on staring at me..
   
2. two faces people --->> people who around you or even though your friends..
   
3. black hearted --->> ppl who simply wan to see how you going die soon..
   
4. an idiot --->> who donu n don care bout other peoples feeling...
   

toooooooooooooo cccccccomplicated..


human are complicated..
those ppl just do wateva they wan to do without using their BRAIN to think!!!

I really regret now..
about you..
if I given second or third or fourth ... chances again..
I sure will choose not to like you so much and so deep..
I realize that I am really STUPID!!!

sigh...

• results coming out soon...

haiz..

• very fan la...
• can somebody help me??

I know myself wat "KOLI" de..
if reali cant go to UNIVERSITY den I will work hard and earn a lot of money..
if can go U,
sure need to use a lot of money de..
haizz..

• buy laptop??

I din even think about it cos I really cant afford one now..

1. cos don wan let u all c my crying face..
2. & I not really wan to see him again..
   
3. I don know how to face my mom and my beloved dad later..
4. I really suffer now..
5. wat should I do??
6. I still haven settle down anything yet...
   

sigh...
HELP!! HELP!! HELP!!!!